About Nel
Pronouns: she/they
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Identities
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White, Polyamorous, Pansexual, Gender Fluid/Gender Exploring
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Specializations
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Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM), including open marriages/relationships, polyamory, and the Lifestyle
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Gender exploration, expansion, and/or transitions
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Sexual trauma - I work with survivors of sexual abuse using parts work, mindful self-compassion, and Brainspotting
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Personal History
Before I became a therapist, I …
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Taught psychology classes at community colleges
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Lived, studied and worked in different countries
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Grew up in multiply-blended families
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Was married monogamously for twenty-five years
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Raised three now-adult children
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Was transitioning to polyamory
I know from personal experience how identity shifts and transitions around gender, sexuality, and relationship style affect everyone in a family, and provide both challenges and exceptional growth opportunities.
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It is my passion to help folks navigate these transitions in empowered and empowering ways. That is what brought me to this work, and sustains me in it.
Education
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San Diego State University (2015-2018)
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M.S. with Honors in Counseling with a focus on Marriage and Family Therapy
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Alliant International University, Mexico City Cultural Immersion Program
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San Diego State University (1995-2001)
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M.A. with Honors in Psychology with a focus on Lifespan Development
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Sheffield University, Sheffield, U.K. (1990-1991)
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M.A. Socio-Legal Studies
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Amherst College, Amherst, MA (1983-1987)
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B.A. in Psychology and English
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Presentations and Publications
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Author of “Chapter 10: Affirming Gender, Sexual, and Relational Diversity"
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in the textbook Intercultural Counseling: Bridging the Us and Them Divide (Monk, Winslade, Sinclair & polanco, 2020)
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Organizer/Facilitator for Symposium on Counseling and Alt-Sexuality: Kink and Ethical Non-Monogamy (2018)
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Center for Community Counseling and Engagement, San Diego, CA
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Recurring Presentations on Consensual Non-Monogamy
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Azusa Pacific University (2017-present)
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SDSU (2019 & 2020)
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Practicing Polyamory Podcast with James Sias: E61, “Adding a New Life Partner” (with George Mercer)
Professional Trainings
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Brainspotting
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Phase I (2019)
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Phase II (2020)
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Phase III with David Grand (2020)
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
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Externship (2016)
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Core Skills (2018-19)
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EFT Family Therapy: Restoring Connection & Promoting Resilience (2018)
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Integrating Sex Therapy and EFT Couples Therapy (2018)
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Master Class: EFT with Challenging Couples with Sue Johnson (2019)
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Affirmative Therapy Workshop at Alliant University (2019)
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Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) with Doug Harvey (online, 2021)
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Healing Trauma with Bessel Van der Kolk (online, 2019)
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Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (online, 2019)
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Internal Family Systems (online, 2019)
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Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) (online, 2016)
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Legal and Ethical Concerns [for Mental Health Professionals] (2016)
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Culturally-Informed Care for LGBTQ (online, 2016)
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Introduction to Motivational Interviewing (2015)
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Memberships and Affiliations
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American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)
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California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)
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International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
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San Diego California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (SD CAMFT)
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San Diego Psychological Association (SDPA)
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Trans and Nonbinary Affirmative Therapist Network