top of page

About Nel
Pronouns: she/they

​

Identities

  • White, Polyamorous, Pansexual, Gender Fluid/Gender Exploring

​

Specializations

  • Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM), including open marriages/relationships, polyamory, and the Lifestyle

​

  • Gender exploration, expansion, and/or transitions

​

  • Sexual trauma - I work with survivors of sexual abuse using parts work, mindful self-compassion, and Brainspotting

​

Personal History

   Before I became a therapist, I …

​

  • Taught psychology classes at community colleges

  • Lived, studied and worked in different countries

  • Grew up in multiply-blended families

  • Was married monogamously for twenty-five years

  • Raised three now-adult children

  • Was transitioning to polyamory

unnamed.jpg
Screen Shot 2022-08-05 at 3_edited.jpg

I know from personal experience how identity shifts and transitions around gender, sexuality, and relationship style affect everyone in a family, and provide both challenges and exceptional growth opportunities.  

​

It is my passion to help folks navigate these transitions in empowered and empowering ways.  That is what brought me to this work, and sustains me in it. 

Education

  • San Diego State University (2015-2018)

    • M.S. with Honors in Counseling with a focus on Marriage and Family Therapy

      • Alliant International University, Mexico City Cultural Immersion Program

​

  • San Diego State University (1995-2001)

    • M.A. with Honors in Psychology with a focus on Lifespan Development
       

  • Sheffield University, Sheffield, U.K. (1990-1991)

    • M.A. Socio-Legal Studies
       

  • Amherst College, Amherst, MA (1983-1987)

    • B.A. in Psychology and English

​

Presentations and Publications

  • Author of “Chapter 10: Affirming Gender, Sexual, and Relational Diversity"

    • in the textbook Intercultural Counseling: Bridging the Us and Them Divide (Monk, Winslade, Sinclair & polanco, 2020)

 

  • Organizer/Facilitator for Symposium on Counseling and Alt-Sexuality: Kink and Ethical Non-Monogamy (2018)

    • Center for Community Counseling and Engagement, San Diego, CA
       

  • Recurring Presentations on Consensual Non-Monogamy

    • Azusa Pacific University (2017-present)

    • SDSU (2019 & 2020)

​

  • Practicing Polyamory Podcast with James Sias: E61, “Adding a New Life Partner” (with George Mercer)

Professional Trainings

  • Brainspotting

    • Phase I (2019)

    • Phase II (2020)

    • Phase III with David Grand (2020)

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

    • Externship (2016)

    • Core Skills (2018-19)

    • EFT Family Therapy: Restoring Connection & Promoting Resilience (2018)

    • Integrating Sex Therapy and EFT Couples Therapy (2018)

    • Master Class: EFT with Challenging Couples with Sue Johnson (2019)

  • Affirmative Therapy Workshop at Alliant University (2019)

  • Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) with Doug Harvey (online, 2021)

  • Healing Trauma with Bessel Van der Kolk (online, 2019)

  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (online, 2019)

  • Internal Family Systems (online, 2019)    

  • Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) (online, 2016)

  • Legal and Ethical Concerns [for Mental Health Professionals] (2016)

  • Culturally-Informed Care for LGBTQ  (online, 2016)

  • Introduction to Motivational Interviewing (2015)

​

Memberships and Affiliations

  • American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)

  • California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)

  • International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)

  • San Diego California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (SD CAMFT)

  • San Diego Psychological Association (SDPA)

  • Trans and Nonbinary Affirmative Therapist Network

bottom of page